| Don't you know? Talkin' 'bout a
| |
| | While obviously taken aback by the
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| revolution sounds like a whisper?
| |
| | comment, it was the customer's anger that
|
| --Traci Chapman, "Talkin' Bout a
| |
| | really received the blow. His response
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| Revolution"
| |
| | was a surprisingly relaxed, "Thank you,"
|
| A world-mover passed away last week. A
| |
| | as if he were genuinely refreshed by this
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| world-mover who refused to move.
| |
| | radically different response. After a
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| Like most of us, Rosa Parks did not see
| |
| | pause, the angry customer then
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| herself as a revolutionary. Yes, she was
| |
| | congratulated the teller on how he
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| involved in the local chapter of the
| |
| | handled the situation. The teller
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| N.A.A.C.P. in 1955, and thus she was
| |
| | reported that now, every time he comes
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| involved in the civil rights movement.
| |
| | through, the guy gives him a smile and a
|
| But she was primarily a wife and a
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| | thumbs-up signal through the drive-up
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| seamstress, living in the segregated
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| | window.
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| society of 1950s Montgomery, Alabama. And
| |
| | Now, I know that sounds somewhat
|
| one day she decided to do something
| |
| | fantastical, like it couldn't be real. If
|
| different.
| |
| | you were to confront someone like that,
|
| Making the changes we want in our lives,
| |
| | then you'd never get that type or
|
| in our relationships, always begins by
| |
| | response, right? Or maybe you're like me,
|
| simply doing something different. This
| |
| | thinking that if I knew I would get that
|
| reflects an awareness that all behavior
| |
| | response, then confrontation would be a
|
| comes couched in a pattern. That's why
| |
| | lot easier. That's what's behind our
|
| you can predict what your son is going to
| |
| | fascination with relationship
|
| do at bedtime. Or what your daughter is
| |
| | techniques-give me something to do that
|
| going to say when you tell her what to
| |
| | will guarantee a different response from
|
| do. These are patterns, and just as much
| |
| | my kids! From my spouse! From my
|
| as you can pinpoint their parts in the
| |
| | colleague!
|
| pattern, they can pinpoint yours.
| |
| | The most important part, however, and the
|
| The only way to change the pattern is to
| |
| | link between this teller and Rosa Parks,
|
| learn to pinpoint your own part in it.
| |
| | is that neither one of them had any idea
|
| And then do something different. That's
| |
| | what would happen next. They just knew
|
| what Rosa Parks did.
| |
| | what they had to do. Something different.
|
| In December of 1955, this humble
| |
| | Every revolution, no matter how small or
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| seamstress left her job and went to the
| |
| | large, always begins with one sentence.
|
| bus stop. It was time to go home, and she
| |
| | Every significant change to a system,
|
| was tired. When the bus stopped to pick
| |
| | whether it be a family, office,
|
| her up, she did as she always had,
| |
| | government, or society, always begins
|
| entering the front door, paying the bus
| |
| | with the same communicated message:
|
| fare, then going back out and reentering
| |
| | I don't know what you're going to do, but
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| through the back door, the "colored"
| |
| | this is what I'm going to do.
|
| entrance. She then proceeded to take a
| |
| | Revolutions don't start with loud, bold
|
| seat on the fifth row of the bus, which
| |
| | proclamations. Life-altering changes do
|
| was the first row of the "colored"
| |
| | not begin with gangs of people all acting
|
| section. Then the bus left.
| |
| | as one. They begin with quiet statements,
|
| And it started to fill up. Before nearing
| |
| | quiet actions of singular fortitude. They
|
| Mrs. Parks' final destination, the bus
| |
| | begin with a singular individual with a
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| was completely full. That meant her fifth
| |
| | resounding resolve to change herself,
|
| row was filled, two African-Americans on
| |
| | whatever the outcome.
|
| the right side, and two across the aisle
| |
| | Rosa Parks did not intend to be a hero.
|
| on the left. Then, at the next stop, a
| |
| | She just did not want to give up her
|
| white man entered through the front door.
| |
| | seat. And she absolutely would not budge.
|
| There were no seats available on the
| |
| | Mrs. Parks would later say that she felt
|
| first four rows (they were all taken up
| |
| | "determination fall over her like a
|
| by white people), so the man, as was
| |
| | blanket." She made no loud protests, she
|
| customary, went to sit on the fifth row.
| |
| | issued no bold demands. She didn't even
|
| Now the segregation law stated that black
| |
| | make a face or frown. She did not ask
|
| people were forbidden to: a) sit in the
| |
| | anyone else to change for her sake, she
|
| white section; b) share a seat in the
| |
| | simply refused to move.
|
| black section with a white person, and c)
| |
| | And when the bus driver then informed her
|
| sit across the aisle from a white person.
| |
| | that he would have her arrested, here was
|
| This meant that when the white man moved
| |
| | her response: "Then you may go ahead and
|
| to sit on the full fifth row, all four
| |
| | do so."
|
| black people, by law, had to get up and
| |
| | And the rest is glorious history. Her
|
| stand in the back of the bus.
| |
| | trial and conviction led a 26-year-old
|
| Well, three of them did. One, calmly, did
| |
| | minister initialed MLK to organize a
|
| not.
| |
| | 381-day bus boycott, nearly crippling the
|
| One of the thrills of my job is getting
| |
| | local transportation industry, yet
|
| to hear about ordinary people making
| |
| | clearly creating a national civil rights
|
| extraordinary decisions. I heard a bank
| |
| | movement. A true revolution.
|
| teller yesterday, reporting about an
| |
| | In my book, ScreamFree Parenting, I make
|
| incident with a repeatedly angry drive-up
| |
| | a promise that you can, indeed, start a
|
| customer. After another heated exchange,
| |
| | revolution in your home. I hesitate
|
| and a windblown mishandling of papers,
| |
| | sometimes to use that language because I
|
| the angry customer sternly corrected the
| |
| | would never want to cheapen the memory
|
| teller. He punctuated his remarks by
| |
| | and inspiration of true revolutionaries
|
| calling the teller a "dimwit" as he sped
| |
| | like Rosa Parks.
|
| away.
| |
| | But what we're talking about for all of
|
| While most of us might take this
| |
| | us is bringing to an end the destructive
|
| personally, think about it continually,
| |
| | patterns that fill families for
|
| or even let it control us altogether,
| |
| | generations and generations. What we're
|
| this teller did something different. He
| |
| | talking about here is creating patterns
|
| decided to rise above the fray of the
| |
| | of influence and intimacy that can
|
| incident and act not out of his anxious
| |
| | transcend the reactionary dialogues and
|
| reactivity, but out of his calm
| |
| | messages that fill our airwaves (and
|
| integrity. The next time the teller saw
| |
| | brainwaves).
|
| the angry customer, he went straight to
| |
| | What we're talking about is learning to
|
| him, saying "I want you to know I forgive
| |
| | create the relationships we've always
|
| you for calling me a name last time we
| |
| | craved, by simply learning to focus on
|
| spoke, and I hope things get better for
| |
| | ourselves.
|
| you."
| |
| | And do something different.
|
