| When it comes to dealing with problems or
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| | permanently damage relationships.
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| issues with others, we are likely to
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| | What to do? Tell people the truth. People
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| follow one or more of these solutions
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| | are smart and we are usually lousy
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| that are myths of
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| | actors. People see through us anyway, so
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| communication--solutions that are touted
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| | be honest and clear. If you have issues
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| as solutions but can actually cause
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| | talk about them, get right to the point.
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| horrible problems instead.
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| | When you have something nice to say,
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| Myth #1: Time heals all wounds. The truth
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| | bring it up in separate conversation or
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| is time usually deepens wounds. If time
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| | at least in a different part of the
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| really healed all wounds, people would
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| | conversation not connected to a problem
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| not blame their behavior on their
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| | or something we really want done.
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| childhood and past events as they often
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| | Myth #5: More communication leads to
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| do. In fact, time can deceive us into
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| | resolution. The truth is just more
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| thinking that problems with others have
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| | communication can lead to wasting time
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| been resolved, but all it usually takes
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| | and possibly more misunderstandings.
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| is to see them again or something to
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| | Sometimes people believe and operate as
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| remind us of the past unresolved issues
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| | if people talk about more things, that
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| and we will become upset all over again.
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| | clarity will somehow magically emerge
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| In essence our unresolved past is lying
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| | from the sheer volume of information and
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| around waiting to strike us in the
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| | issues will get handled. But how often
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| present.
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| | have you been in a meeting where people
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| What to do? Don't rationalize, "Well,
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| | "talked about things" and nothing got
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| they are not saying or bringing it up. So
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| | resolved.
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| I will just let it go." Just because they
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| | Consider this. If the solution were
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| are not bringing it up doesn't mean they
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| | simply increased amounts of
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| let it go. They may feel awkward or
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| | communication, wouldn't you expect, for
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| embarrassed or may not know how to bring
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| | example that e-mail, cell phones, video
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| it up so they have decided to bury it.
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| | conferencing to have significantly
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| The key is to proactively bring up issues
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| | reduced communication problems? In spite
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| and resolve them.
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| | of all of these extra tools now
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| Myth #2: Don't Rock the Boat. The truth
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| | available, it seems there are more
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| is if you don't rock the boat, the boat
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| | misunderstandings, mistakes and conflicts
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| will probably sink. Faced with an issue
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| | than ever before. And people still
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| or problem that is bothering us, many
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| | complain that they don't receive the
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| people rationalize, "I am not going to
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| | feedback they need to do their jobs
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| say anything. It's not that big a deal. I
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| | properly.
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| don't want to rock the boat" The problem
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| | In fact, communication technologies can
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| with this way of thinking is if we don't
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| | also help people spread misinformation
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| say anything, the issue is unlikely to be
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| | with blazing speed, sometimes with
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| resolved. Then what was once a small
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| | devastating results. Communication
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| issue may fester and grow into a big
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| | technology is not inherently bad. The way
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| problem. What to do? As stated above,
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| | people use it is often ineffective.
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| proactively bring up issues as they
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| | Increasing the amount of communication
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| happen.
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| | through multiple channels is not the
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| Myth #3: Be Diplomatic. The truth is if
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| | answer in and of itself.
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| we are too diplomatic, the person may not
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| | What to do? Instead of just increasing
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| get the point and nothing may get
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| | the amount of communication, make sure
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| resolved. Have you ever had someone be
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| | that people know how to effectively use
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| upset with you claiming that they told
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| | the different ways to communicate. If
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| you about something and you did not do
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| | learned, these methods can make the
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| anything about it? Upon retrospect you
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| | critical difference in successfully
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| realize that they might have brought it
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| | resolving issues as they arise.
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| up but the person was so diplomatic, the
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| | Take Action
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| person beat-around-the-bush and you
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| | Pass this tip on to people you care
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| missed the point. What to do? When we
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| | about, your co-workers, your boss, your
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| have an issue, yes-bringing things up in
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| | employees, family and friends. Use it as
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| an understanding way is important, just
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| | a basis to talk to the people around your
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| make sure the issue and what you want
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| | office, in your organization and your
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| done is clear.
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| | personal life. Have an upfront
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| Myth #4: Sandwich what you want to really
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| | conversation about the "myths of
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| say between two compliments. The truth is
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| | communication" and what everyone is
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| the "sandwich method" is so transparent
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| | willing to do differently. This way
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| that people immediately identify the
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| | everyone will benefit from the knowledge
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| strategy and feel manipulated. The
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| | and wisdom we all have to contribute.
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| sandwich method is when you place what
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| | If you need help and/or guidance call us,
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| you really want to say between two
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| | we can help.
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| positive compliments. "I appreciate how
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| | Together we can make the difference!
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| hard you work, but blah, blah, blah...
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| | Copyright, 2007 Steven Gaffney Company,
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| and thank you for working with me on
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| | All Rights Reserved.
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| this." Such communication tricks can
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|
